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Review: Pirates vs Ninjas Dodgeball

Sep. 9 10:41 PM by Terry Terrones

Pirates! Ninjas! Dodgeball! Sounds like a winning combination, and if Jack Sparrow and the guy from Ask A Ninja were going head-to-head maybe it would be, but pirates and ninjas in videogame form? Not so much. The recently released "Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball" on XBLA makes a valiant effort but comes up short on almost every front. Not even the appearance of robots and zombies (as big a part of the game as pirates and ninjas but with obviously poorer PR teams) can save this title from its disappointing gameplay.

Pirates vs. Ninjas takes a different approach to dodgeball. Instead of the classic one hit and you're out version, PvN has a health bar that slowly drops with every hit an opponent takes. Knock out all the Thriller zombie extras from another team and you win. With only 2-4 ballers on a side. playing a video game version of dodgeball this way makes sense. In order to keep the action fresh with so few players, PvN offers a number of different throwing styles, special abilities and melee attacks to stun your opponents. Again, not exactly traditional dodgeball, but stunning a pirate by hitting him with a samurai sword and then beaning him in the face still elicits an evil giddiness.

Creativity is where Pirates vs. Ninjas shines, it's getting those ideas to actually work that's the problem. The controls are wonky at best. At times you'll be able to hit exactly who you're aiming for, other times you'll throw the completely wrong direction. Picking up dodgeballs is hit and miss. On numerous occasions I'd run circles around a ball before my pixilated pirate would sense it was there to be picked up. The level designs are frustrating. They're way too large and so clutttered, your tiny avatar (who you'll frequently lose track of during the chaos of a match) will often get stuck behind an object or will be so far out of the picture he'll get hit by a ball from off-screen.

The game's multiplayer feature offers a slight reprieve from single player frustration but only if you can find other gamers willing to put up with the poor controls. PvN does offer a somewhat amusing story mode for all four factions but its only funny in a Full House/Family Matters kind of way and has no effect on the game.

Pirates vs Ninjas is an attractive looking title and offers a unique take on an old school game, but its ineffective gameplay just won't let it compete with other titles more worthy of your hard earned cash.

Pros: It has pirates, ninjas, zombies and robots.

Cons: Why not Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor?

Sound: 2.75
Controls: 2.75
Graphics: 3.0
Fun Factor: 2.75

The Info: Platform: XBLA, Publisher: Gamecock, Developer: Blazing Lizard, ESRB: E10, Players: 1-4, up to 8 online, Price: 800 MS Points ($10)