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Top 5 Worst Movies Based on Video Games

Sep. 7 8:12 PM by Terry Terrones

Hollywood and gaming have always had a tumultuous history. The movie industry treats the gaming industry just like it does everything else - if its hot, they try to make a film, and a quick buck, by turning gamers favorite titles into movies. The early results were terrifying and some films were so bad that the concept of the video game movie almost went the way of Britney Spears sanity. Not that this has discouraged Hollywood in the least. Trying to find a good game-to-movie adaptation is like trying to find a booth babe at E3, very hard to do. In order to save you a rental fee and 2 hours of you life, here are the top 5 biggest offenders you need to avoid.

1. Street Fighter (1994) - Starring: Jean Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue.

Plot: After months of fighting, a multinational military force called the Allied Nations has managed to enter the city of Shadaloo. The AN is fighting against the armed forces of drug-lord turned General M. Bison (Julia), who has recently captured a couple of dozen AN workers. Bison makes his demands in a live two-way TV broadcast with William F. Guile (Van Damme), the commander of the AN forces. If he is not paid $S20 billion in three days he will kill the hostages.

Why it sucks: One name - Jean-Claude Van Damme. Aside from Bloodsport the "Muscles from Brussels" never made a good flick. (Okay, there are a couple of hot scenes in "Double Impact" but the rest of his films stink.) Then we have the wasted talents of actor Raul Julia and bootylicious Kylie Minogue. After this stinker Kylie disappeared for a few years before making a comeback, as a singer. Good thinking, let people forget you were in this disaster.

2. Super Mario Bros. (1993) - Starring: Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo and Dennis Hopper. Plot: Spike and Iggy kidnap Daisy while the Marios were fixing the pipes. Luigi accidentally grabs Daisy's magical necklace. They plunge into a rock face and tumble down a wide canyon. They end up on the other side and find a place that's not Brooklyn.

Why it sucks: The first movie ever to be based on a video game had nothing to do with gaming and had a lot of facts from the game wrong. The dialogue was cheesy and the costumes on Mario and Luigi looked ridiculous. Throw in an over the top performance by Dennis "I just got out of rehab and I'll take any work I can get" Hopper and you have one crummy movie. Sure my Mom made me take my little brother to see it but that doesn't mean I had to like it.

3. House of the Dead (2003) - Starring: Nobody you've ever heard of.

Plot: Set on an island off the coast of Seattle, a party attracts a group of college students and a Coast Guard officer. Their party is interrupted by zombies and monsters that attack them on the ground, from the air, and in the sea, ruled by an evil entity in the House of the Dead.

Why it sucks: Let me introduce you to Uwe Boll, a movie director well known in gaming circles for two things - directing movies based on video games and sucking at it. He frequently changes the movie so much that it has absolutely nothing to do with the game its based on. His flicks are almost always box office failures.

4. Wing Commander (1999) - Starring: Freddie Prinze Jr., Matthew Lillard

Plot: The movie follows the story of Christopher Blair (Prinze), a young pilot assigned to the TCS Tiger's Claw. He and the crew are given the mission to buy time for the Confederation's fleet to set up a defensive line to protect Earth and to help stop the invading Kilrathi armada.

Why it sucked: The dynamic duo of Freddie Prinze Jr. and Matthew Lillard. This actually had the makings of a pretty good B-movie sci-fi flick except for these two lunkheads. These guys should never be allowed to make a movie together. If you don't believe me check out the Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleased and Summer Catch triple feature and see if you haven't hit yourself in the face with a shovel after the credits roll.

5. Bloodrayne (2006) - Starring: Kristanna Loken, Michelle Rodriguez, Ben Kingsley

Plot: A huntress named Rayne (Loken), who is an unholy breed of human and vampire called a Dhampir is trained by a secret agency called the Brimstone Society which hunts down and eliminates supernatural threats around the globe, Rayne is confronted by the deadliest of all creatures, the powerful and evil Kagan, King of the Vampires (Kingsley).

Why it sucked: Did you read the plot? Does this not sound insane to you? Are you not shocked that Sir Ben Kingsley would star in a flick like this but pass on Christopher Moltisanti's gangster movie. Sure Loken is a babe and she was pretty good in Terminator 3 but if Sir Ben can't save this film there's no way a futuristic robot could either. Oh yeah, this was also a Uwe Boll flick.

Dishonorable Mention: Bloodrayne 2, Hitman, Double Dragon, Doom

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